You might be from Louisiana when...
As a child, you play games with your friends by knocking down the crawfish mounds, and you get paid for it.
You greet people with "Howz ya momma'an'dem?" and hear back "Dey fine!"
Every so often, you have waterfront property.
When giving directions you use words like "uptown," "downtown," "backatown," "riverside," "lakeside," "cross da bayou" or "down the levee."
When you refer to a geographical location "way up North," you are referring to places like Shreveport, Little Rock, or Memphis, "where it gets real cold."
You've ever had Mello Joy or Community Coffee.
You can pronounce Tchoupitoulas but can't spell it.
You don't worry when you see ships riding higher in the river than the top of your house.
You judge a po-boy by the number of napkins used.
The waitress at your local sandwich shop tells you a fried oyster po-boy "dressed" is healthier than a Caesar salad. [Ceasar salads are healthy?]
You can eat Popeye's, Haydel's and Zapp's for lunch and wash it down with Barq's and several Abitas, without losing it all on your stoop.
The four seasons in your year are: crawfish, shrimp, crab, and King Cake. [Cuz they show ain't no Spring and Fall.]
You "wrench" your hands in the "zink" with an onion bar to get the crawfish smell off.
You don't learn until high school that Mardi Gras is not a national holiday. [It's not??]
You don't learn until high school what a "county" is.
Your last name isn't pronounced the way it's spelled.
You know what a nutria rat is but you still pick it to represent your baseball team.
You have spent a summer afternoon on the Lake Pontchartrain seawall catching blue crabs.
You describe a color as "K & B Purple."
You like your rice and politics dirty.
You pronounce the largest city in the state as "Nawlins." [But if you're really from Louisiana, you say "New OR luns."]
You know those big roaches can fly, but you're able to sleep at night anyway.
You assume everyone has mosquito swarms in their backyard.
You realize the rainforest is less humid than Louisiana.
You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
When out of town, you stop and ask someone where there is a drive-through Daiquiri place, and they look at you like you have three heads.
You have flood insurance.
Your burial plot is six feet over rather than six feet under.
A Bloody Mary or Mimosa is the perfect breakfast beverage.
You have a monogrammed go-cup.
You get on a bus marked "Cemeteries" and don’t think twice.
You shake out your shoes before putting them on.
The second most festive and anticipated holiday is Mardi Gras.
Your sunglasses fog up when you step outside.
No matter where else you go in the world, you are always disappointed in the food.
You get up in the morning and start cooking a pot of rice before you give any thought to what you'll fix for supper.
You call lunch, "dinner," and you call dinner, "supper."
You ask, "How dey running?" and "Are dey fat?" when you're inquiring about seafood quality.
When it starts to rain, you cover your beer instead of your head.
You call tomato sauce "red gravy."
You eat sno-balls instead of throwing them.
Your house payment is less than your air conditioning bill.
Your grandparents are called "Maw Maw" and "Paw Paw." ["Mom-Mom" and "Pop-pop"]
You fall asleep to the soothing sounds of box fans.
No one eats healthy.
At a crawfish boil, you are told not to eat the dead ones, and you know which ones they are.
You're excited because the Atkin's Diet allows cracklins.
You "save" the dishes and clothes.
You're a Saints fan!
You consider a Redneck to be anyone living North of I-10.
You're in high school before you realize that beaches are supposed to have white sand.
At the first sign of a cool front, it's immediately known as "gumbo weather."
Someone shows up at your house, and you hollar: "Get down!"
No comments:
Post a Comment