Zen Wisdom

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me either.
Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.


2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt
and a leaky tire.


3. Do not strive to be irreplaceable.
If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.


4. Remember always that you are unique.
Just like everyone else.


5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.


6. Before you criticize others, walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have
their
shoes.


7. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.


8. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all
day.


9. If you lend another $20.00 and never see that person again,
it was probably worth it.


10. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.


12. A closed mouth gathers no foot.


13. Duct tape resembles 'The Force.' It has a light side and a dark
side, and it holds the universe together.


14. Two theories exist about how to argue with a woman.
Neither one works.

16. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.


17. Never miss a good chance to shut up.


18. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a
laxative on the same night.