The Tobys of America, or T.O.A., is an organization designed to help rid the world of a growing epidemic known as Tobys or T-Boys. This idea was first started back in 1996 by three innovative and creative young men from Lafayette Middle School. These three men had one common goal and that was to one day exterminate all living Tobys in the world.
Since 1996, the toby epidemic has grown exponentially. With the rise of hip hop music it seems more and more Tobys are running the streets now more than ever. Local people cannot shop at our own malls anymore without fear of being mugged or jumped by a gang of Tobys. Even people who are brave enough to walk the mean streets of the Acadiana Mall must look at the floor at all times so that they do not make eye contact with one of theses creatures. We must stop this growing epidemic before it reaches heights that even President Bush can not handle. We need to stop them while they are young and before they start breeding baby Tobys known as TITS (Tobys in Training.)
We can do this. This is what this group is for. To help stop the worldwide epidemic known as Tobys. Gather up everyone you know. We need everyone, otherwise we will either be forced to join them or our next President of the United States will have the nickname T-Money. We need to hurry before its too late. These once cowboys are trading their Garth Brooks CDs in for 2 Pac and Master P albums. They are trading their cowboy hats for black stockings that fit tightly over their head. Their once proud cowboy boots are being sold for solid white K-Swiss. Even their beautiful horses are being thrown out for yellow and orange lowrider trucks (with dice and a crooked license plates.)
But be very careful guys. The Tobys are extremely dangerous. These guys want respect from the real street thugs more than they want anything else in life. There are no limits as to what they will do to get that respect. They will beat up anything, they will steal anything and they will rap to anything. So be careful. It is up to us to make sure they stay in their own country towns and away from our city, our malls, and our clubs.
COMMON PLACES TOBYS HANG OUT: New Iberia, Cecila, Duson, Bunkie, Rayne, and most other small towns. Skate Zones, fairs, malls and Sonic parking lots are also common stomping grounds. Since they are growing I am sure there are others so be careful.
COMMON TOBY CHARACTERISTICS:
1. Gold Teeth
2. Baggy Clothes
3. White Shoes (No Other Color)
4. Perfectly straight bangs (Tobe-cicles)
5. Starched Jeans
6. Crooked Hats
7. Lowrider Trucks/Cars
8. Car accessories would include the basic dice, rims, crooked license plates, neon lights, etc.
9. A real toby will peel out next to you and drive real fast as soon as a light turns from red to green. (This is a toby who likes to show off.) Do not race him unless you are willing to throw down. Racing to a Toby is like shooting his mom, he will take you down.
10. Any person who uses an adjective in front of their name for no reason. Examples of this include: Lil Mike, T-Mike, G-Mike, Big Mike, Money Mike etc. They are many more but you get my drift.
11. Guys who wear XXXL shirts when they should be wearing Mediums.
----#11 follows the basic "Toby Rule of Three" which states, "If your shirt is big enough to fit three tobys inside, the size is just right.
12. They have a distinct mustache. Also known by the common people as a Tobe-Stache. What the hell is that growing on their lip? I mean, its not too thick, its not too thin, its not too much of nothing. Its gross, terrible and unexplainable.
13. Beepers/Pagers. They still carry beepers. Many modern day tobys have switched to cellular phones. The real Tobys still have the green and blue see through pagers attached on the outside of their pants pocket. Be careful around these Tobys, as they are considered Old School.
14. Bright Colors. These colors include bright green, bright orange, bright yellow and baby blue. Be very careful with the Tobys who wear these bright colors. They have gone out of their way to make sure everything from their visor to shoes match. They have expertly picked out their clothes and will kill you if you make a comment to them about it.
Yet, another good reason to stop this weird breed of a human.
The picture to the left is a great example of what a true toby looks like. His bright colors and gold give him that distinct Toby look. His cocked back head and expressionless face show the world that he is ready for any drama. He is pretty much daring you to "diss" his outfit.
Quote of the Week:
When asked why Bobby Brignac is not too fond of Tobys, Bobby had this to say. "When I gel my hair, I gel it up. When they gel their hair, they gel it on their forehead."
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